One last stand: Work with your ex to finalize the divorce

Most people are ready to move on when they think that their divorce is over. The last thing that many people want to do is to have to deal with their ex in the time between filing and finalization.

What many people don't realize is that if they can work with their ex for a little bit longer, they might be able to reach the finalization of the divorce faster. If both parties can come to an agreement about all matters related to the divorce, there isn't any need wait for a divorce trial.

Informal negotiations

If you and your ex can work together in a calm manner without too much help, you might be able to decide who gets what through informal negotiations. This isn't appropriate for all cases. For example, if you are the victim of domestic violence, you wouldn't want to handle the divorce negotiations in this manner.

Alternative dispute resolution

You can use mediation to come to an agreement about divorce matters. This is an informal process, but a mediator works with you and your ex to get everything figured out. The mediator can help you and your ex to make sure that you focus on the matters that must be decided. If things get too tense, you can ask to speak to the mediator alone, and it is possible to have the mediator act as a go-between.

Tips for negotiations

Make a list of what points you will stand your ground on. You can add in a list of what you will negotiate on so that you can refer to this as the process moves forward. Don't let your ex get to you during the process. Sometimes, an ex will try to irritate you so much that you just back down and give that person his or her way so that you can get done with the divorce. Don't fall for that.

Protect your interests during the divorce process. You shouldn't focus on what your ex wants or what you think your ex needs. Now that your marriage is over, you have to take care of your own needs.

If you and your ex can't work things out through negotiations, you do have the option of going through a trial. While this will take longer, it might be the only way that you can get the divorce finished so that you can fully move on with your life.

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